17 Days in December

Today is my sister’s birthday. The only celebration of the event, however, will be in our thoughts. There will be tears shed, too, even though she has been gone now for almost 16 years. There will be tears of sadness, tears of pity — for ourselves and how much we’ve missed by not having her here. There will be tears of laughter as we imagine what she’d have to say if she were here, fussing over her birthday cake, opening gifts, chatting about the events of the day. One of her favorite sayings was that retro 60’s slogan: “Never trust anyone over 30.” At 36, she wouldn’t be able to trust herself and she’d be the first to get a kick out of that.

Now, we mostly imagine her chuckling as we make comments like: “Wouldn’t Connie just love that? Look, another Star Wars movie! Did you see the Lego movie on YouTube video with the…”

I’m sure what she’s enjoying now makes the best this world can offer pale into stupidity. I’m glad she’s safe. I’m so grateful she’s happy. I know she’s waiting for us. And that makes it all bearable.

Most days.

Happy Birthday, Connie.